Amanda (frodo_chick) wrote,

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The week from hell...

God, this week has been utter and complete hell. First of all, I totally fucked everything up. Now me and Kyle don't even speak to each other. And I hate to admit it, but I miss him. He led me on, plain and simple, so I don't think things will ever be the same again. Why, why, why???? Am I doomed to be hurt by guys? I used to think he was nice and everything, even though all my friends warned me he was an asshole and a lying bastard at that, but I didn't believe them. Now everything I see reminds me of him. I can't listen to the song "Fallin" without nearly crying. I fucking hate this, if there is a higher power out there, can't you just make everything like it was last Friday? Please? I'm asking nicely. Really. I've had a ton of homework and it's all too much to deal with right now. I know I'm blowing everything out of proportion, but someday I will look back at this and laugh. I just know it, it happens with everything. At least I've had a few days to get a grip on myself, on Wednesday I felt so cold and empty and sad. Now I'm almost back to normal, which is a very good thing indeed. I've had the song Fade in my head this whole week, I think they describe what I feel right now pretty well:

I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
the thought is too
Much to conceive

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
That my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to
Express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface
I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

So where were you
When all this I was going through
You never took the time to ask me
Just what you could do

Well, I'm off to the mall tonight, so we'll see if I post anything.
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